Gangrenous

Yeah, pretty much sums up how I feel about SFB. Turns out his gall bladder was gangrenous too.

Long story short(er!):

I tossed up taking the kids in to see him Tuesday, knowing he was being operated on Wednesday. We were home late and they were cranky and they rang him.

Tried ringing Wed night, but no answer.

Yesterday at work, I had a phone call from the friend who looks after the kids on the Thursday evenings I work asking if I needed them looked after and saying that W had rung her asking her to take the kids to see him. We arranged that she got the kids from school tonight, took Miss I to dancing then we would meet at the hospital.

Then last night his sister-in-law rings me to tell me that it was a very long operation as they found his gall bladder was gangrenous and a simple keyhole surgery turned into a 4 hour marathon. She told me off for not taking the kids to see him and asked if she could take them out of school this morning to see him. I said no and was branded a cow basically.

Then during my lunch break today, I got a phone call from W's Bishop asking me if I knew he was in hospital! Apparently he told the bishop that I wasn't showing any care and concern and obviously didn't know how sick he is. I mean, I don't really know this man at all and I think he suspected me to rush to the hospital with open arms for a man I cannot stand anymore.

I got there before they did this evening and had to go in and see him. He really expected pity from me and was quite miffed when I just stood in the door and told him that I didn't want to see the scar as he went to lift his gown!

Apparently if they had left it another week he would have died and he is lucky as it is that it hadn't entered his bloodstream. Yes I am a b*tch for wishing it had, I know.

Oh and on top of this I am extremely sunburnt on my chest and back of neck from helping G on Wednesday with the sandpit he is building his kids. Perhaps it is Karma. I am very confused re the whole G thing. Deep down I think I am scared to fall in love and am trying to stop myself, but at the same time I want to feel loved and wanted. Yeah, that's basically it I think...