What a week

Shrink appointment on Tuesday was interesting. But then again, aren't they always! Came away being told that we both had to stop trashing our marriage and trashing each other. Idea was that each evening we would sit down together and plan the following day using a journal. So I went and bought a really nice book to write in. I got in from work at 9pm. I actually rang on the way home to say I was looking forward to sitting out on the verandah and having some cheese. Got home with W watching telly and both kids still awake. Miss I had actually wet her bed and all W had done was flip the mattress (it is not designed to be flipped and has no padding on the bottom) and put clean sheets on. No mopping up or anything. So I did that without complaining, settled her, and made sure J was in bed. At 10.15 I was angry with W for not turning the telly off and was heading to bed when he asked when I was going to talk to him. So we went outside and he spent 1.5 hours berating me and telling me what a horrible person I am and how he thinks our sessions with the shrink are a waste of time. I was exhausted and finally was able to calm him down a bit and we did our shrink homework- it was quite forced though. Went to bed and I drifted to sleep. W woke me at 1am to say that he thought C, our 10yo standard poodle, wasn't very well. He appeared bloated and was having trouble breathing. So I rang our local vet. No answer. So much for 24 hour service. Rang the vet down the road. No answer. Rang our old vet across town. They said to bring him in, so W did. I must have drifted back to sleep as at 3am the vet rang to say that C had a twisted stomach and he had tried to untwist it by poking a tube down there, but it was severely twisted and the tube wouldn't help. He gave us the opportunity of an operation, but he said it was a less than 50/50 chance and that it would cost $2,500 in the next half hour. So we gave permission for him to be euthenased (sp?). Then had to tell the kids Wednesday morning before I headed off for my 12.5 hour shift. They were both distraught. Have settled a lot since then, but they miss him dreadfully.

Mum arrived yesterday. Has been ok most of the time, but I will always do something wrong. I am exhausted. Am working tonight from 5-9. W is doing more around the house which is great and I hope this will keep up. Christmas presents are wrapped- well each child will open 4 presents from us (including one from each other). Mum gave W money yesterday to go and buy me something, even though I already have picked up the 2 cookbooks and the platter I had on lay-by so no doubt he has gone and got some little things that I will probably never wear/use. Will see. Brother arrived today. He hasn't said anything to me yet. I have escaped downstairs and am meant to be working on my thesis, but am too tired.

And on top of all this I am feeling really down as H went on holidays today for 3 weeks. He will be at home for half that time, and has promised to email and try and pop online for a chat when he can, but it is hard with his family around. I sent him a card and a pack of post-it notes with a light bulb on each! He assured me he wanted to send me something, but was worried it would be discovered by W. Fair enough too I suppose! At least I can send it to his office!

I know I will need to unload on here before Christmas, but if I don't get a chance to, Merry Christmas to all readers! I know there are some out there from the stat counter! Oh and if I have time on the weekend, I will try and send out our Christmas letter.