O dear...

OK! Some weekend background: I went to the GP on Saturday and have been sent for an ultrasound for my lump. He thinks it is fibrous tissue, but still wants it checked out. W got his uni results- 1 sup exam granted, 1 pass and 2 fails. And his parent's house burnt down. Looks like MIL, SIL and nephew went shopping this morning leaving FIL at home. The outside power line has snapped causing a grass fire that has led to the house. FIL was still in bed at the front of the house, although he promised MIL he was getting up when she left, and the front door was deadlocked so he had to use his artificial leg to break the glass and scramble outside. It sounds like he was very lucky. He got outside as 2 people arrived and helped him and went inside to fetch his wheelchair. The extension on the back was destroyed, as was the roof, but the stone part has stayed structurally sound. Lots of water damage. One dog and one cat died. Other dogs were locked in the shed down the back. They live for their dogs.

Last night W decided to have another pity party and showed me just how screwed up he really is. He seems to think that threatening me will result in me becoming more submissive: I am not a good wife because I don't go to church; He failed his subjects because I had him chasing after the children and didn't allow him to study; I need to accept that my lump is a judgement from God! Well the last one had me and I bit back He has threatened to move out, but when asked where he will move to he says to his parents until I pointed out that they have nowhere at the moment. He says he is willing to sacrifice any contact with his kids so that they can make their own mind up about what an awful person I am when they grow up. I mean, how can you you respond to that? He told me my thesis wasn't finished because I keep breaking promises and I am not doing it to spite him. Yes, it was all about W. So when I told him about my self doubt I was told that I should find someone to talk to about it. This is on top of last week: when I asked him what was sexy about me I was told it was my eyelashes as they are the skinniest part of me. Charming.

Oh and his other recurring theme was how he wished he had the guts to kill himself 12 months ago. I think he is suicidal again (has he ever not been I suppose) and I know P wants to change his meds in the new year, but I am going to push for him to be hospitalised to do do it, even if that means he will be in Brisbane for a few weeks.