Yet another negative post...

I suppose I should blog more regularly, then I might catch some good times.

I suggested to W last night that we watch a DVD together. We have a whole cabinet filled with DVD's, some we have seen once, others we have never seen at all. Of course I played Devil's Advocate and put on 'Shirley Valentine'. I can identify with both Shirley and Joe. After the movie W just told me that he hoped I didn't see myself as Shirley because I always get my own way, am a non conformist and I never do what W wants. How to get my heckles up! So I told him that I really identified with Shirley as I felt stuck being his carer and I couldn't grab hold of my own life. My thesis was due 12 months ago and it is still a long way off being finished. I want to do it, but I am totally exhausted from working 25-30 hours/week in the store and also caring for the house, kids and W.

He had an appointment with P today by himself. P told him he had to take responsibility for things. W sees that as getting me to do more or help him. Unfortunately I have blown up at him again this evening. Another thing P had a go at him about was his weight. So he tells me that we need to walk as a family. He then said that the kids would love to walk to Maccas and back! Well that was it! I told him that him taking control and responsibility would mean that he got up early and walked by himself. He tried to argue we do nothing together anymore, but I reiterated that he needed to do things for himself and that I was not going to hold his hand with everything anymore.

Oh and I signed up to Skype today, only to have a guy chat to me tonight. I thought it was a general chat about families, hobbies etc, but then he asks me what size I was. I told him and 18-20. It was a very innocent chat (or so I thought) and he said that he didn't want to talk to me anymore because he doesn't chat to fat chicks and he was after a tall skinny blonde chick to chat to. It actually made me cry, but at least I didn't head for the cooking chocolate.