Things I want to bring up on Tuesday:

W is currently having a meltdown and lying in bed. I have sat with him for a while but he has made it clear that I am only making things worse for him. Tonight it stems from me telling him some of the things I wanted to bring up with the Dr on Tuesday.

• If W is not at uni he will spend at least 20 hours/day in bed

• W does very few household chores- he takes the bin out on Friday

• Ws reaction to his SILs birthday party- his unwillingness to help with any preparations or cleaning up afterwards

• Ws reaction to having people over last night after I had been told that one of our big failings in the parish was that never entertained

• The way I feel constantly blackmailed an unable to talk to him about anything– my words are always twisted to suit Ws negative thinking

• The feelings that I am a single parent and Ws inability to discipline kids

• Ws constant criticism of my lack of values and how we non longer have common values (basically because I am not attending church at present)

• The dichotomy between W believing that our marriage is over because after 15 years of being together we are unable to work things out, yet mysteriously his priesthood is not and he feels he is able to continue being a priest

• The inward pressure I have had for the last fortnight over not releasing my anger onto W and my own inability to find an alternative venue for my anger except myself

• The guilt I have in feeling that if W did kill himself it would be a relief

• The grief I have at being told every time we try to have a conversation that our marriage is over and that I should just face facts and Ws refusal to work at our marriage and try to make it work. This is fused with Ws abhorrence that I should consider contraception and his belief that if I had another child it would be 'wonderful'