Blogging helps perspective

It does, really it does, and perhaps that is why I sometimes don't blog regularly- it is easier bottling things up than trying to work through them.

I know D is wrong for me, but the thought that someone out there seems to like me (in his round about way- he messaged me during the week that he was too scared to meet me because he "knew we would love each other") but then nothing since then. So I have stopped messaging him and it is up to him. If he really believes that we are soul mates (as he has said before) then he has to chase and prove it as I am not longer convinced!

Of course it is further complicated by G! I know I have said before that G gives mixed messages! When I had my meltdown Wednesday week back (BTW- I am blaming PMT now!) he rang as I was still crying and was so nice on the phone. He told me that I really should expect it and the down times mean that the only way is up. That night he rang again to see I was ok. He had one of his kids home sick from school so he couldn't come around on the Wednesday. So the following day I got a lovely text from him wishing me a lovely day, with another message later in the day! Most days he contacts me now, either by text or by phone or email.

One of G's dreams is to build a boat and go sailing when he retires. When I was lying and cuddling him last weekend he was telling me all about it. I said that I have never really been a sailor, but I love the water and it sounds like a great adventure and he just hugged me and held me close.

So Thursday G met me for lunch. We went down to the Sushi Train and sat together. Then we went back to work where he did a little shopping. Let's just say we were seen! All afternoon I had colleagues asking me who I was with! Then that evening some of the management quizzed me! I could not stop blushing! It wasn't until one of the older ladies at work told me that she could tell he really liked me by the way he stood so close to me, that I perhaps started to notice this! So I sent him a text from work saying that he was the topic of conversation and he replied laughing saying that he wished he had dressed better! Later on I rang him and again aologised but he said it was fine! I then told him that people were asking if he was coming to the staff Christmas Party with me. I suppose this did make it easier in that I didn't need to ask him! He said that it would depend if he was working or not, but if not then that should be great. I think I almost was gobsmacked! I suppose I wasn't expecting it!

I think that reflecting on D and thinking about everything has made me realise how much I really like G. I mean we obviously have stuff in common if we can chat for hours on end and like each other's company right? I am cooking dinner for him tonight even though he is in the middle of his days on. I can't wait to see him again! Oh and last night I dreamt that I told him I loved him. Now I don't think I would go that far and claim this is love, but it is nice!