What's in a name?

I had an interesting conversation with G last night (well I didn't really want to go too much into it, and decided against throwing my $0.02 in...) but basically he asked me whether C is my married name or maiden name. I told him married name and he said that it is going in his divorce papers that his ex has to stop using his surname. I kinda left it because I didn't want to get into an argument, plus the whole surname thing gets my born again feminist leanings at war with the patriarchal choices I have made for my name in the past.

When I married I was young and I was very eager to get rid of my maiden name as I connected it with my father who I not only associated with someone who was very distant i my life growing up, but also totally abandoned me in dying so suddenly when I was 17. To tell the truth, I don't really want to go back to my maiden name. I have toyed with going with my mother's maiden name, but apart from the fact everyone would know the answer to my 'secret question' at so many web sites, it is again the name of a man. I suppose I could see it as my mother's name as I was always so close to my grandfather and he was the last of that line, plus I would be keeping my initial. The other option is to come up with a name of someone else I admire. But when it all comes down to it, what's in a name? is it going to change me as a person? Should I just revert to my maiden name? How do I do this? Is it a big deal having a different surname to my kids? My mother always rings to complain saying "My name is ***" and inserts her surname! I hardly ever use my surname!