Oh what a day...

Well... It started this morning (as most days do!) when W wouldn't come and see me. When he came through to use the bathroom he didn't even acknowledge me. I was due to start work at 9.45am and got up around 8.30 to shower etc etc etc.

I asked I if she was able to get my clothes from the line downstairs. She did then told me that W had told her that he couldn't take her to dancing. So as he came past I said 'Good morning, W, how did you sleep?' to which I got a terse 'How do you expect I slept' and he then preceded to tell me that he wasn't able to take I to dancing. So at 9.30 when I am due to leave for work he is telling I (who is 8 remember) that he won't take her to dancing because Mummy won't communicate with Daddy. Well I lost it at him and yelled that he was not to bring the children into our discussions. I was totally irate and in a real mess and he steadfastly refused to take I to dancing and as her concert is in 4 weeks she had to go so i had to ring work and say that I was unable to get in for my (5 hour) shift which started in 5 minutes because of a family crisis. I will find out how understanding they are tomorrow. At least my line manager is away on leave.

W told me he was going to move back to his mother's interstate! LMAO!!!!! He was in a very bad way and couldn't see the problem with me missing a shift at work so I rang his brother and spoke to SIL and said that I was bringing him around. 5 minutes later he told me he was refusing to go. So I rang them back and said he was refusing to go. So I gathered both kids and went to take I to dancing. W said J could stay, but I told him I was not letting him stay. So he made a big performance of saying goodbye to the kids as "he probably wouldn't be seeing them again". I told him to stop being so melodramatic and left. Whilst I was at dancing I went and saw BIL and SIL. They weren't a lot of help, but at least they listened. W has always been quite distant from his brother, who is 7 years younger than him. I was told all about how stubborn W had been throughout his childhood.

So I got I from dancing and came home. W was watching telly downstairs. I didn't know how to talk to him and retreated upstairs, but J was really pleased to see his daddy. I was still angry, but sat down with him. I tried to listen, but I know I wasn't being listened to.

We ended up going upstairs where I made a pot of coffee for us both and we had a chat. We will revisit it with P on Monday at our appointment.

This evening our new neighbours had a housewarming party. I told W that he was going and he ended up having a good time! I got into the Karaoke (and I hardly had anything to drink!) with I and W chatted with the neighbours and with other people. It was interesting for me to catch up with a former colleague from uni who is teaching at an English language school here in town where they are desperate for teachers. I may look into that next year if there is not a lot of supply work. Plus I will get to meet cute Frenchmen (I have a thing for French accents!) ;)

Then when we got home MIL rang me! Considering she hasn't spoken to me since W was in hospital last year I was surprised. She was actually avery supportive of me which really surprised me as she believes a lot of W's issues stem from me not being a 24/7 housewife. She told me that I have to stop doing everything for W and that it is not fair on me to be left to do everything. She hinted that if we do split it wouldn't be fair on me and would be letting W win. Quite insightful I thought.

I am totally emotionally drained and need to sleep. I am working tomorrow (I AM WORKING!) and will see what the day brings. I have to trust W with the kids, even though this is hard.